{"id":1590,"date":"2022-04-13T16:44:44","date_gmt":"2022-04-13T21:44:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/womanmadewell.live\/?p=1590"},"modified":"2023-03-23T17:12:51","modified_gmt":"2023-03-23T22:12:51","slug":"empathy-the-essential-ingredient","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/womanmadewell.live\/?p=1590","title":{"rendered":"Empathy &#8211; the Essential Ingredient"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I can&#8217;t believe it&#8217;s been ten months since we started this journey together. Thank you so much for joining me. I hope you&#8217;ve felt welcomed, encouraged, and maybe a little challenged at times.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I&#8217;m also praying, and will you join me in asking God for a fresh vision and direction for Woman Made Well as I proceed into year two. After all, it&#8217;s God&#8217;s story that He authored. I long to give Him all glory, all honor for restoring what the locust has eaten in my past.&nbsp;<a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/biblehub.com\/joel\/2-25.htm\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Joel 2:25<\/a>&nbsp;He&#8217;s restored my physical life and health, given me purpose, and repaired and redeemed damaged relationships. He continues to work things for good in my life.&nbsp;<a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/biblehub.com\/romans\/8-28.htm\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Romans 8:28<\/a>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I&#8217;ve decided to break from the chronological historical format that I&#8217;ve been using and share some of my today struggles. It&#8217;s not like I have it all figured out.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Recently, I listened to author Anne Fadiman give a 2017 interview in preparation for a book club discussion I was hosting. And as I heard a quote that I&#8217;m now paraphrasing, it rang of biblical truth, though not intentionally given as such. She reminisced about the difficulty of accurately seeing both sides of an issue in reporting and writing.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She stated, &#8220;Empathy is hard. It&#8217;s harder than anger, and it&#8217;s harder than pity.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Even though I&#8217;ve studied and practiced empathy in college in preparation for my first career, I admit I&#8217;m still not so good at it. I must totally depend on the Holy Spirit&#8217;s guidance in every conversation and interaction to have a shot at producing it.&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblestudytools.com\/john\/14-26.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">John 14:26<\/a>&nbsp; So, I can absolutely agree with the statement that anger and pity are easier.&nbsp;I&#8217;ve gone the easy route with anger and pity many times. And I&#8217;ve struggled significantly with the more reconciliatory, connecting, perspective-seeking path of empathy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here is why anger and pity are so easy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Anger looks to blame something outside so we don&#8217;t have to look inside ourselves (yes, we can be righteously angry over abuse and injustice, so I&#8217;m not speaking of a situation that produces righteous anger). At the same time, pity implies a hierarchy of judgment that elevates us over whomever we pity. A lot of times, we confuse empathy and pity. Empathy is only conveyed on the same level as someone else, not looking down at them. Empathy &#8220;listens&#8221; and doesn&#8217;t pretend to &#8220;know.&#8221; It&#8217;s putting ourselves in someone else&#8217;s shoes and seeing things from their perspective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Trying to protect me for decades by being &#8220;perfect&#8221; leaves a lot of room for growth in the empathy department. Because I&#8217;ve judged others so quickly to help me feel better about myself, to this day, I still stumble looking for safety in knowing the rules of a group, of a relationship, or a system. It&#8217;s hard to break out of those well-worn neuropathways my brain has developed as fallbacks to avoid conflict or disappointment that rules and perfectionism provided.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Oh, the safety of perfectionism. It felt safe to be able to know I was doing it right. Except it was a lie. Remember, Bren\u00e9 Brown says,&nbsp;<em>&#8220;Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. It&#8217;s a shield.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I&#8217;ll be working on this until the day I see Jesus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Perspective is everything, and if we only see our side of things, we will never get genuine empathy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Empathy remembers; it&#8217;s not forgetful. Because&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It remembers what it was like to be so tired and weary that it&#8217;s easy to say or do the wrong thing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It reminds us that we have no idea what others have been through because no one but Jesus knows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And it doesn&#8217;t forget that the only reason we have overcome any of our struggles is by the grace of God.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I can&#8217;t believe it&#8217;s been ten months since we started this journey together. Thank you so much for joining me. I hope you&#8217;ve felt welcomed, encouraged, and maybe a little challenged at times.&nbsp; I&#8217;m also praying, and will you join me in asking God for&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1523,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[131,88],"class_list":["post-1590","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-posts","tag-empathy","tag-perfectionism"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Empathy - the Essential Ingredient - Woman Made Well<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/womanmadewell.live\/?p=1590\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Empathy - the Essential Ingredient - Woman Made Well\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I can&#8217;t believe it&#8217;s been ten months since we started this journey together. 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