{"id":801,"date":"2021-10-05T17:19:05","date_gmt":"2021-10-05T22:19:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/womanmadewell.live\/?p=801"},"modified":"2023-03-23T17:07:39","modified_gmt":"2023-03-23T22:07:39","slug":"never-meant-to-rescue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/womanmadewell.live\/?p=801","title":{"rendered":"Never Meant To Rescue"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The words meant well. The terms \u201cstrong\u201d and the phrase \u201cthings would be okay\u201d came from a heart that wanted to help. My head might have nodded, and my mouth might have attempted a polite smile, but inside, I knew it wasn\u2019t true.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That was the day I knew everything had changed.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Words did little to comfort me. Instead, anxiety and fear about the future escalated off the charts. And I felt responsible for how things were going to play out. There was a new weight and pressure I hadn\u2019t felt before. Everything did not feel okay, and I wasn\u2019t strong. I had my go-to comforter to ease my anxiety and numb these new stresses. But relatively soon, I knew the depth and width of this new hole in my life couldn\u2019t be filled up with alcohol.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I was drowning. And I was finally waking up to the fact.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Has loss or grief left you so desperate for the suffering to stop, but you feel if you let even a little out, you won\u2019t be able to control it? Are you processing tough things alone because you think you need to stay strong for everyone else? Are you helplessly watching someone you love tailspin, and you have no idea how to help them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you feel unsafe, vulnerable, and utterly powerless in what is happening to you right now as I did, maybe you\u2019ve gone into rescuer mode, too?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Let me tell you the truth about rescuing. What it did was help me feel some control under circumstances when I didn\u2019t have any. It was an illusion. In the meanwhile, it distracted me from processing the impact of loss.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Danny Silk, author of <em>\u201cKeep Your Love On,\u201d <\/em>&nbsp;says it like this. \u201cIf you\u2019re a rescuer, you\u2019re taking responsibility for someone else\u2019s life in an attempt to feel powerful.\u201d He goes on to say, \u201cFirstborn children are prime candidates for the rescuer role, because they are often trained from the time they are little to take care of people who are less powerful.\u201d And he adds, \u201cRescuing people from themselves and taking responsibility for their lives is a familiar role, and feels like love, But it actually can create unhealthy codependence.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A sense of responsibility and obligation drove my behavior, not love. And the pressure kept building and building. Smoldering coals of anger and bitterness beneath the surface remained.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">With a shifting foundation underneath me, I was heading straight for a huge collapse. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblestudytools.com\/csb\/matthew\/7-27.html\">Matthew 7:27 &#8211; CSB<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I changed my zip code, had a new house, a new job with different colleagues, a new church. I could change all those external things, and yet nothing inside me had changed.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The truth was I couldn\u2019t rescue anybody, and I needed a rescuer. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblestudytools.com\/csb\/colossians\/passage\/?q=colossians+1:13-14\">Colossians 1:13-14 &#8211; CSB<\/a>&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When I admitted it and humbled myself in genuine submission, God heard my cry. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblestudytools.com\/csb\/psalms\/passage\/?q=psalm+116:4-6\">Psalm 116:4-6 &#8211; CSB<\/a>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We can\u2019t escape this life, any of us, pain-free, but we don\u2019t have to go through it alone or waste pain\u2019s purpose.&nbsp;God offers us rescue through His Son, Jesus, and promises never to leave or forsake us. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The words meant well. The terms \u201cstrong\u201d and the phrase \u201cthings would be okay\u201d came from a heart that wanted to help. My head might have nodded, and my mouth might have attempted a polite smile, but inside, I knew it wasn\u2019t true.&nbsp; That was&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":718,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[121,126],"class_list":["post-801","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-posts","tag-loss","tag-suffering"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Never Meant To Rescue - Woman Made Well<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/womanmadewell.live\/?p=801\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Never Meant To Rescue - Woman Made Well\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The words meant well. 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