One of the Sweetest Gifts

One of the sweetest gifts of God’s grace revealed is that I’ve gained insight into some of my life’s whys – emotions and motivations – behind choices and harmful patterns. But before understanding would come in the form of healing by God’s grace, there were clues of past unresolved regret.

I began the early days of this blog talking about regret and how it can be a catalyst for change, either positively or negatively. (Subtleties of Shame, Part 1) Looking at regret through the perspective of God’s heart for me has been a healing and transformational experience for sure.

I see regret as a hint, a clue, or a tug that we don’t see things clearly enough or don’t have the tools needed to move toward and overcome the thing we feared. As a result, some damage was done either inside us or to the people we were in relationship with. 

But with Jesus, we don’t have to repeat the past anymore. (Large sigh of relief)

Brené Brown talks about regret like this. “Like all emotions, regret can be used constructively or destructively, but the wholesale dismissal of regret is wrongheaded and dangerous. “No regrets” doesn’t mean living with courage, it means living without reflection. To live without regret is to believe you have nothing to learn, no amends to make, and no opportunity to be braver with your life.”

That last sentence rings true on so many levels. We won’t grow when we can’t learn from others, see our mistakes, or tackle hard things.  

Last week I shared what a mixed bag of emotions and motivations I am. Yeah, it’s not a very flattering thing to admit. But it’s honest and accurate. If I don’t realize that, I’m lying to myself and in denial. When I recognize an out-of-control emotion or mixed motivation, the most important thing I can do is confess it to God when it comes to the surface. And then disclose it to safe people I’m in a community with. 

Remember, it’s only by Jesus’ righteousness that we can be made holy for God’s presence to dwell within us. God’s in charge of our sanctification. (This word sanctification means purifying, cleanse, or make holy.)  Psalm 51:10 

We all are similar in our humanness. Our hearts and thoughts have a trajectory and path all their own. Without any intervention, our natural humanness will lead us toward death. Let’s get honest. We don’t always want the right thing at the right time or for the right reason. Every day in a hundred little different ways, we choose life or death, blessings or curses. Deuteronomy 30:19 

It would be a very hopeless fate if not for one intervening factor – God’s gift of grace and the continued help He provides when we are dependent, leaning into learning led by the Holy Spirit. 

When we put God in charge and learn to hear His voice by spending time with Him and taking in His Word, which is active and alive, He works through His Holy Spirit to separate and bring under control emotions and motivations that aren’t fueled by His goodness. Hebrews 4:12.

We can see our past in a new light with God’s grace. How past rejection was actually God’s protection. We can connect the dots between numbing tendencies and unresolved emotional issues. We can see how blame can be projected and used to avoid the pain of doing our own healing work.

It will be extremely hard work, but isn’t being freer and more emotionally healthy than ever worth it?