The Silent Cost of Shame
I’ve had low energy/fatigue and bouts of depression from early adulthood, but I just shrugged them off as manageable. Manageable because I had found ways to protect myself from childhood with lots of sleep and comfort myself with carbs and sweets. But after I kicked the cookie dough habit to lose weight, alcohol offered to take the lead. So that’s what I did to “manage.” Meanwhile, I chalked up fatigue and need for sleep and comfort to the everyday stress of doing “it all” – being a good mom, an attentive wife while working full-time.
There was something under the surface that still needed attention. So that’s the setup for two major illnesses with unclear causes that were to be my future.
It’s blowing my mind how much chronic physical and mental illness exists in our country and the world today.
The National Institute of Mental Health reports, “mental illnesses are common in the United States, affecting tens of millions of people each year. Estimates suggest that only half of people with mental illnesses receive treatment.”
WHO – The World Health Organization reports this information on just one mental health issue – depression: “Depression is a common mental disorder. Globally, more than 264 million people of all ages suffer from depression. Depression is a leading cause of disability worldwide and is a major contributor to the overall global burden of disease. More women are affected by depression than men. Depression can lead to suicide. There are effective psychological and pharmacological treatments for moderate and severe depression.”
All this information appears to be pre-Covid, by the way.
So why do I bring all this to your attention when this website dedicates itself to get curious and courageous to break the silence of shame to heal?
Well, research is proving shame is very bad for our health.
Brené Brown, in her book Daring Greatly, says, “Shame is highly correlated with addiction, violence, aggression, depression, eating disorders, and bullying. Researchers don’t find shame correlated with positive outcomes at all – there are no data to support shame is a helpful compass for good behavior. In fact, shame is much more likely to be the cause of destructive and hurtful behaviors than it is to be the solution.”
June Tangney of George Mason University and Rhonda L. Dearing of the University of Houston and others have studied shame extensively. “Tangney and Dearing are among the investigators who have found that shame-proneness can also increase one’s risk for other psychological problems. The link with depression is particularly strong; for instance, one large-scale meta-analysis in which researchers examined 108 studies involving more than 22,000 subjects showed a clear connection.”
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-scientific-underpinnings-and-impacts-of-shame/
I’m not suggesting that it is the cause of all health problems by any means. I’m shocked, though, and amazed at how shame can play a significant role in these illnesses. And if shame isn’t directly involved with disease itself, it’s hopelessly intertwined with our lifestyles and how we numb our emotions from the pain it causes. Yet, at the same time, its silence is posing a serious ongoing threat to our health and our kid’s and grandkid’s health.
The CDC reports “6 in 10 adults have a chronic disease. 4 in 10 adults have two or more chronic diseases.” The six leading chronic conditions cost 3.8 trillion dollars in annual health care costs. Key lifestyle risks for chronic disease is tobacco use, poor nutrition, lack of physical activity and excessive alcohol use.
CDC Chronic Diseases in America
My eyes opened to how many women are suffering physically and emotionally from the effects of shame. Shame kept me quiet. It kept me from seeking help when I needed it.
I don’t want that for you.
The Woman Made Well describes the heart of a woman who believes in God’s promise for healing and is curiously courageous to go after it.
Are you ready?
