Is This All There Is?

“Is there more to my spiritual life than this?” [furrowed brow, puzzled emoji here] 

Before my genuine relationship with Jesus, my sporadic intermittent talks with God resembled a vending machine Houdini-fashioned escape strategy type praying. “Lord, if you could just let me slip out of this obligation, bend someone to my way of thinking or dislocate the fear and pain of this relationship far away from me, I’ll escape from the box, and I’ll be good and You can help the next person who really needs You. Amen.”

Of course, I never prayed those actual words, but often the prayers were all about me – what He could do for me – what He could take away I didn’t like, not self-reflection. Every Sunday, I participated in a corporate confession, still, personally mid-week there was very little self-examination, or actually reading to know what was in God’s Word or confessing things I knew were wrong.  

A decade ago I felt stuck in my religious routine. Does anyone relate?

Things had gotten so spiritually low for me I didn’t want to go to church anymore. My husband saw this trend and we’d discuss it but we had no answers. Neither of us knew that we weren’t saved at the time so it doesn’t surprise me looking back that we were perplexed about what was happening.

Have you felt this way too? Does faith feel stagnant or waning, or do you doubt its authenticity? Have you stopped engaging in spiritual life? Is your faith hanging on by a thread?

So was mine. I said yes to all the nagging doubts.

I needed to make a big change but it seemed impossible unless something really drastic happened. It would be so hard to explain to people. And I didn’t want all the questions, all the probing. Remember, I had been keeping a secret about how I’d been coping so spilling my guts was absolutely out of the question. And talking to the pastor, seemed even more absurd.

But God made a way. God gifted us with a geographical move. 

He knew I was struggling. So He allowed a move in our lives and set us near a church with three large crosses out in front of it near the apartment we’d occupy for the next six months in our new location. It attracted me like a magnet. There was an atmosphere that spoke to my heart. It felt vibrant and alive. The Bible came alive for me for the first time with what I’d describe as thirst and hunger to know more. 

Remember my heart was very soft from all the things I was struggling with.  It was very good soil for God’s Word to grow in.

If you are discouraged or disengaged from church, or your relationship with God isn’t getting deeper and stronger, I encourage you to ask questions about what you believe and what your church believes. Ask God to give you the courage to change something if you aren’t growing.

Living things grow. Period. Proof of living faith is spiritual growth.

I see examples in the Bible of women who had to buck the religious system rules of their day to come out and touch the hem of Jesus’ robe. Mark 5: 28 – NLT  Women who had to brave the scorn and contempt of what religious leaders thought of them in order to enter into the presence of Jesus to worship Him and serve Him. Luke 7:36-38 – NLT 

Faith is risky, from a purely human perspective, because we are trusting in a God we can’t see.

But God is trustworthy.

I’m afraid some people may be sacrificing a genuine saving faith because they are stuck in fear to dare to do something different because of what other people would think. Please, please, I beg of you, don’t let your thoughts be the last word. God’s plans and thoughts are higher. Isaiah 55:8-9 – NLT    

God’s eyes search the earth for those who really want to know Him. Personally. Relationally. Like a Daddy and daughter, this is how close He wants to be with you. 2 Chronicles 16:9 – NLT  

If you aren’t growing closer to God, something needs to change. Ask God to make a way for you.