Not Self-Help, It’s Self-Helpless

I couldn’t wait. I had made my plans, and I was ready.

It did feel a bit like an escape. But I didn’t care. The freedom I envisioned was my driving motivation. Whoosh! A clean slate with a new state and new surroundings would create some space so I could breathe again. Leaving the old scenes in the rearview mirror pumped adrenaline, aroused excitement, and stimulated a hope of ridding myself of situations I couldn’t seem to fix or change. 

I was eager to start over. Things would be different in a new place, I told myself. Eliminating the pressure, changing my circumstances, and fully concentrating on myself would do it. Then, finally, I would have the capacity to change some things if I didn’t feel all this pressure anymore.

Have you planned escape too? Have you considered putting some distance geographically or emotionally between you and a painful place, situation, or person?

You are not alone. 

We all are inclined to distance ourselves from painful situations and look within ourselves for solutions to our problems. So often, the grass looks greener on the other side of the street or with someone else and away from what we think is causing our distress. But, unfortunately, the new wears off, the excitement eventually fades, and we are again confronted with the heartaches and concerns that expose the real thing we avoid.

Ourselves.

The hope of relocation to solve my problems was simply a way to redeem and restore myself and nothing else. The unchanging reality of a problem I couldn’t kick helped me realize I had an utter lack of control over myself.

We can make all the plans we want to, but the Lord establishes our steps. Proverbs 16:9 – NLT   Our circumstances, boundaries, the place and people we interact with have been sovereignly decided or allowed by God, no matter whether we are ready to fight, run or hide from what is confronting us. Acts 17:26 – NLT

God allowed a unique set of circumstances for my willpower and plan to fall apart so I could realize that I would never self-help myself whole. 

I needed Him. Healing and restoration could only come through complete surrender and dependence on God. 

How sweet to reflect on how God allowed – with the move – to set the stage for the safe space and opportunity to understand how kind and patient He’d been and that God wanted to show me mercy. Romans 2:4 – CSB Romans 9:16 – ESV And He was providing – through my circumstances of alcohol abuse and relational pain –  a chance to change my mind about how I was living and what I was living for. 

I will forever be grateful that God allowed me the space and safety I needed to fall apart so He could pick up the pieces. 

Let Jesus provide a safe place to rescue you because He delights in you. Psalm 18:19 – NLT

He will support you when you fall apart in His arms. He will pick up the pieces and create something beautiful.