The Whats at the Bottom of Our Whys?

I’ve spent a lot of energy trying to get to the bottom of why questions in my life. Have you been there too? Are you there right now? We have so many complex questions in this life. About illness, relationships, broken political systems, and death, just to name a few.

Believe me, I know how much time and energy the desperation for answers can consume. I’ve spent more time spinning in my whys than I care to admit. But with all the “knowing” – all the technology-fueled ability to run after our need to know – will we recognize that we may feel a little bit entitled to an answer?

I know I craved to know the whys of my illness. But God kept them out of my reach.  

The purpose of my illness didn’t end with a definitive answer that closed the door on this chapter of my life – guilty or not guilty. Instead, unanswered whys left room for God to open up my perspective about my responsibility and how I was created and placed in a family system of relationships that also affected the situation. 

The unanswered why of a physical illness brought me to my senses. The reality of my choices to the forefront. No longer hidden but visible. Where issues could be confronted, and truth could rule. Exposed to the light, I would have to confront myself, so I could heal. Mark 4:22 – CSB 

If I had a medical answer to my physical problem, I likely would not have kept seeking God for the continued emotional, spiritual, and physical healing I desperately needed.

So why are the answers to why so insufficient?? 

Answers to whys don’t provide the power we need to flourish. Because it’s only at the end of our whys where faith truly begins. Jesus told us we’d have pain in this world. He wants to share things that bring an internal peace that all the scientific and medical answers in the world won’t provide. John 16:33 

Below is a quote from a post I wrote on 6/5/2018, my fourth transplant anniversary. 

“Right after my illness, I asked a lot of why questions too. I still ask WHY? God has helped me to finally realize that the important question is not why? but WHAT? What will you do with this opportunity, Kelli? Will you let the events of your life, good and bad, move you closer to God or farther away from Him? Every day, many many times a day we face this choice in the thoughts we think, the words we use, and actions that we take.”

Recognizing that my life had been bought with a price, I wanted to love God by treating others and myself with honor. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 – CSB Eventually, even though I still have questions about why my liver failed, they don’t fall on a heart that needs to be justified or absolved of guilt. No, I own it, and I would let grace cushion the consequences now because I was God’s child. He promised me that He would work it for good because I loved Him. Romans 8:28 – CSB 

I would be okay without the answer to my why because I trusted the One who knew why. 

What are you waiting for? Will you give your whys to a loving God and trust He has good intentions even with the hard questions that seem to have no answers?