Helpless, Not Hopeless / When Willpower Will Not, Part 2

I’d try and try, but my no’s to myself didn’t last. As I’d steel my resolve to fix myself, my willpower “rules” were a stop sign that would last for a couple of weeks, but honestly, it worked more like a caution sign I’d blow straight through. Whenever I experienced emotions I didn’t know how to process, like anger or anxiety, or was physically drained, I’d forget my promise to myself and grasp for the immediate comfort I craved.

I wanted my definition of comfort as fast as I could get it.

Meanwhile, my religious traditions offered little support. I imagined God with a furrowed brow, disappointed, not loving, and helpful. So subconsciously, I ran from Him. Yet, at the same time, I filled up the exterior of my life – the things people could see and notice about me – with the things of God, which made me feel better about myself. 

What’s the immediate comfort you grasp for instead of God? Is it the things of God over God Himself, or is it a substance, an activity that’s turned obsession, scrolling endlessly, or media bingeing or an all-consuming relationship?

Another thing that misled me was that I was a professional helper; I wasn’t the helpee. It’s what I knew; it’s the position I was comfortable in. But it also became a badge of honor and pride. Mark 2:17 – NLT 

I knew very little about asking for help and receiving help of any kind. Shame stamped its name all over me and held my thoughts hostage. I believed reaching out for help or receiving it meant I’d failed somehow. Romans 1:25 – NLT Self-sufficiency was so ingrained it didn’t even occur to me I needed help for a long time. And shame convinced me that no one needed to know. I still thought I could get myself out of this.

As human beings, we will always try to cover shame as a first response. But we will never find true freedom from shame outside a relationship with Jesus. Psalm 34:5 – NLT 

Have you been there too? Are you caught in a situation physically or emotionally and feel there is no way out? Do you feel embarrassed or humiliated to have anyone see you ask for help? Do you feel family pressure to hide your problems? Have you grown up with a pull yourself up with your bootstrap mentality? Please don’t believe all the stories playing out in your mind. It’s in our weakness – our willingness to admit we don’t have it all under control – where Jesus’ power is perfected. 2 Corinthians 12:9 – NLT 

We may be admitting to being helpless, but that’s okay. Because with God on our side, we are not hopeless. When we ask Jesus into our lives, He gives us access to a Helper – the Holy Spirit. John 14:26 – ESV 

We need the Holy Spirit to help us work with God instead of against His purposes. The Holy Spirit is a Helper, a Counselor, and an Advocate to help us navigate this broken planet we live on. God has His arms wide open – to help and not to harm us. He’s there to run to instead of run away from. Matthew 11:28 – NLT 

Maybe you’ve conquered some unhealthy habits and can look back and be proud. But, please hear me; developing discipline is good, but it alone will never redeem and restore the impact of sin and shame.

Human willpower and self-sufficiency will never change our hearts or save our souls.

Real strength comes from a genuine relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ. Whatever hard thing is breaking you right now, it’s allowing an opening for God to shed His light to give you the perspective you need to heal. John 1:5 – NLT